Safeguard Your Menu Plan System When Life Happens
Life doesn’t always go as planned. When meals have to be adjusted to accommodate life’s unexpected circumstances, write it down. Putting your change of plans in writing on your family menu plan can protect your good habits. Here’s why:
You Can’t Stop Life From Happening
All good menu planners will tell you that no matter how good your intentions or how far in advance your planning, life will alter your menu plan from time to time. Appointments can run long or you can find yourself unexpectedly away from home when you are supposed to be preparing a meal. You could even forget to prepare your crockpot meal in the morning and have to make a quick substitution to the menu plan which doesn’t require six hours of cooking time.
When meals deviate from the menu plan once in a while, it should be no big deal. It could just be a little surprising to those expecting one dinner and finding a different food on their plate, but that’s about all. When meal substitutions happen frequently, however, it can be confusing to family members who start to view the menu plan system as being broken.
Menu Plans are About More Than Just Food
If the menu plan says dinner tonight is barbecuing hot dogs and playing frisbee with dad, but something comes up and dinner is changed to fast food drive-thru eaten in the car, it can be confusing. Even worse than confusing, frequent substitutions can send several silent messages to children and adults alike:
- that sticking to a plan is not important
- that you can’t trust what you expect to happen, because it may change at any time
- that family time is not that important and can be left out when inconvenient
Protecting your home systems, especially menu planning, is important to preventing chaos and for enhancing the stability of your family. Menu plans are about more than just food. Family meals are a symbol of togetherness, of permanence of your family unit, of the strength of your family team. Inconstancy is a slippery slope, especially when family is concerned.
Menu plans are about more than just food. Family meals are a symbol of togetherness, of permanence of your family unit, of the strength of your family team.
Please don’t mistake what we’re really talking about here; it’s not the occasional errand taking too long that we’re focusing on. It’s neglecting the following of your plan or using it as merely a suggestion that may or may not be followed. This simple system can have an enormous impact on the stability of your family life, and allowing your family members to see home as a place they can count on.
Is Right Now a Bad Time For Menu Planning in Your Family?
Make sure that you are really committed to using the menu plan you write down and post for your family to see. If you aren’t committed to using the system 100%, take a break from it for a little while.
We all know that seeing something in print gives it instant authority. If you write one thing on a sign (menu plan), post it for all to see (family members) and then do the opposite, you have just effectively undermined your own authority! For home systems to work properly, they have to work for you. If menu planning is not working for you right now, it is okay to take a break for a few weeks and try it again later.
Protect Your Menu Plan System From Erosion
If your menu plan system is healthy and intact, this section is for you. Are you one of the individuals that just has life’s unexpected circumstances get in the way from time to time? That is normal and unavoidable, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it do harm to your menu plan system.
When a deviation from your menu plan arises, the best way to deal with it is to write in the change. As soon as you are aware that a substitution will have to be made, cross out the original meal and write in the new one. What if you aren’t at home and can’t write in the change before the meal takes place? Write in the change AFTER the meal, as soon as you get home.
Why write in changes to the menu plan? Isn’t is pointless? No! Adjusting plans is necessary in all aspects of life, and being able to show our children that we can adjust to accommodate the unexpected sends a powerful message:
- that WE control our systems
- that while you can’t always control life, you can control how you react to it
- that the system is not broken just because something unexpected came up
- that they can count on the system to stay constant, even with a substitution
Writing in your meal changes on the menu planner as soon as possible gives everyone a reference for what has happened in the past and what will happen in the future. It shows your family that your system is strong, your family meal time is important to you, and that they can count on stability at home even when life happens.
9 Comments
Michelle
Well written Laura 😉 I love meal planning and know that anything can happen in a day and that take out is not a bad thing.. Have a great week..
Sonshine
Amen! Thanks for sharing these thoughts!
My family knows that I view my menu as a plan, and plans can change. If I have to change the menu I will try to just switch days that the meals are being fixed rather than come up with something totally different that isn’t on the weekly plan.
I find that having the menu helps me to stretch the stock of food that I have that much further. 🙂
Thanks again for sharing!
Audra Krell
This post makes some great points, as this is my first time visiting orjunkie.com. I need to really think about my commitment, before I start a new plan with my family. I don’t need to undermine my authority in a new way this week! Thanks for your thoughts.
Nessa
Great post! Very valid points and a lot to think about.
Erica @ Cook Quick Easy Recipes
Thanks for sharing. I’m still fairly new to menu planning and the tips were helpful. Have a great week.
bobbie
Amen and Amen! I agree and you said it all so well!
Ann
Hmm…interesting post. I rarely prepare the meals on my menu plan in order; I see menu planning as a way of a) protecting us from eating out too much by having a plan and b) making sure I have all the ingredients on hand so I don’t have to make extra trips to the store. I’ve even toyed with not putting days of the week on my menu plan, since we rarely stick to them anyway! I do try to plan around our schedule, so there are occasional planned meals out (like every Sunday noon). If we’re spontaneously invited over to a friend’s for dinner, I would never dream of declining because “it’s not on my menu plan.” I don’t think the fact that we had French Toast last night instead of on Thursday teaches my kids that sticking to the plan and family time isn’t important. Rather, it teaches them the balance of planning with flexibility.
Home Ever After
Hi Ann.
I completely agree with you in that I would never turn down an invitation to dinner just because it wasn’t on my menu plan! The point I’m making is that life happens, and that’s okay. What’s important is to create workarounds that will still keep your system intact instead of letting it disintegrate.
We all know that if we’re on a strict diet and have just one candy bar, it never stops at just one! The “slippery slope” I refer to is actually a reference to the broken window theory. I feel it important to impress upon individuals who are just beginning to set up their own home systems that small things can chip away at their progress if they aren’t deliberate with their actions. The Law of Unintended Consequences shows us that side effects of our actions may be unintentional , but nevertheless, they still occur.
You said that your plan is designed to limit eating at restaurants and to prevent unnecessary trips to the store. Those are great objectives! Not all people are to the point of being able to state the intended outcomes for their systems, but I think it is a very important step to creating efficiency that works for your particular situation.
I also agree that flexibility in planning is important, and hear your point. Planning around a schedule is key, and I do that as well (e.g. on nights when I know time is limited because of the kids’ activities). Please understand though, from a psychological standpoint, that children (especially young children) are creatures of habit for a reason. The repetitive nature of having a routine, doing the same thing at the same time every day, creates a strong stability in their surroundings, especially during a time in their lives when their development can make them feel like they have no control. This is precisely why it feels comfortable to a toddler to hear the same book every night before bed or to your kindergartener to wear his superman costume for three months after Halloween is over! Making a plan and then deviating from it once in a while may be a welcome surprise, but when the plan is mostly disregarded, it can be seen as something that doesn’t really mean anything. That is why writing down the changes to your meals on the menu plan can help safeguard your system.
As with all home systems, they must be customized to work for your particular family with your own unique set of circumstances. Thanks for sharing the particulars of your menu plan system, and I hope to see you at Homemaker Barbi in the future!
Homemaker Barbi
Home Ever After
@Sonshine:
I love your name! Regarding switching days if it has to be changed – I do the same thing.
@Audra: Welcome to Menu Plan Monday and Homemaker Barbi. We’re glad to have you and hope to see you in the future. Good luck with your new menu plan system!
@Erica: Glad I could help! Being new to menu planning, you’ve certainly found the right places for information (our site and OrgJunkie).
@Bobbie and Nessa: Thank you so much! I’m glad to hear that our info is helpful and appreciated 🙂
Homemaker Barbi