Yes, I Bring My Husband His Slippers

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Strengthening Your Marriage Through Acts of Service

If you look back at socio-economic stereotypes of women as wives throughout the 1900s, we see distinct shifts in the viewpoints of our society as a whole. The early 1900s show us women who were little more than property, disenfranchised, and valued little.
Look forward to the 1950s and early 60s and see wives who are tethered to their home, their housework, their husbands and their children.
The 1970s brought women’s’ liberation, the fight for equality, and the 80s ushered women out of their suburban homes and into the workplace.
Fast forward to the millennium, and now in 2019, it is more common to see a woman going to work while her children stay in childcare. My, how the norms have changed in a mere 100 years!

So let’s focus on the stereotype of the housewife from the 1960s. She kept an immaculate house, raised the children, did the errands, and hosted stunning parties! But most memorably, she served and waited on her husband. In the 1970s, these very ideas of women and service became reviled. The thinking was that to serve someone meant you were less than them, beneath them. If you told your women’s’ group that you brought your husband his slippers when he got home from work, you’d be ridiculed and reminded that we women are equal to men!

So What is the Deal with Serving in a Marriage?

When women do nice things for their husband, they’re call backwards or spineless. When men do nice things for their wives, they’re called whipped or henpecked.
But is doing nice things for your spouse really wrong? Does it mean that you are their servant or slave, that you are beneath them? Is it belittling for a woman or man to show love through doing nice things? Of course not!
Yes, I bring my husband his slippers when he gets home from work! I have a warm cup of tea and a hot dinner ready for him when he walks in the door. Why? Because he just walked 2.6 miles home from work in the middle of winter! He’s cold! He’s tired!
And he goes to work every day to support his family so that I can stay home to work and raise the children! He appreciates it; I know because he tells me so. Do people give me a hard time about it? You bet.
What prompts me to do these nice things? I think of his needs and wants. That’s not so unusual when you think about it.
Does it mean I’m not a liberated woman who can take care of myself? No.
Does it mean I’m a servant to my husband? No.
I do nice things for my husband, for my children, for my relatives, and for my friends. Doing nice things for people is a way of letting them know you like them and appreciate them.
I remember my husband rubbing my feet and my back when I was pregnant, even after he worked a long, hard day too. My husband lets me sleep in late on the weekends and he gets up at 7am with the baby, even though he’s gotten up early every morning during the week.
My husband makes me breakfast in bed for no reason. He sends me text messages during the day telling me he loves me. He offers to carry the laundry baskets up the stairs for me, and closes my car door for me. Does it mean he’s being subservient when he does these nice things for me? No way!
According to his book, “The Five Love Languages,” Gary Chapman, a Christian counselor, lists “Acts of Service” as one of the five fundamental ways people show love or feel loved. Everyone has different ways to show or feel love; most people have combinations of several of the love languages.
It really is a great book (and he now has a teens’ edition, kids’ edition, men’s edition, and military edition), and it teaches new ways to connect with not only your spouse, but your children as well.
Giving to people through acts of service is one of the greatest gifts we can give. It’s not like buying them a thing, but it is us giving of ourselves: our time, our effort, and our thought.
The strength of a marriage can indeed be measured by how important the needs of each spouse are to the other. Becoming one with someone else means you think of their needs as if they are your own, you treat them the way you want to be treated, and you show them love just as you would love your own self.
So yes, I bring my husband his slippers, and I am proud! He brings me coffee and I love it! My husband and I have a fantastic and strong marriage because we both think of the other’s needs, and are not afraid to do nice things to show our appreciation constantly.
Showing someone that you cherish them should never make you feel embarrassed or ashamed of what other people will think. If people were more willing to do nice things for each other, perhaps the values of our society would be different than they are, and the world would be a more pleasant place, to be sure!
Do something nice for your husband today that lets him know you cherish and appreciate him (and don’t be surprised if he does the same)!